A meltdown on South Beach, some bad SEC offenses, an awful Big 12 defense and yet another unreal finish highlight this week's flaming piles of garbage.
1. The U
All that was missing Saturday from Clemson's thrashing of Miami was a live tiger eating the Hurricane's ibis mascot. In a game thought by some pundits to be a potential upset, Clemson marched into Miami and shoved the former bullies of college football into a locker, stole their lunch money and danced with their dates.
It was a truly pathetic performance, matched only by former 'Canes whining on Twitter about the u (you lose by 58-0 to Clemson, you lose the capital) and the glory days. For the dozens of fans in attendance, the real highlight appeared to be funnel cakes available in the concession stands.
2. Texas A&M's offense
When your quarterback completes one of 19 passes during a stretch in a game and your specialty is a precision passing game, you’re a Dumpster Fire finalist. Somehow, Kevin Sumlin didn’t go to his backup QB during that woeful period against Ole Miss. Kyle Allen looks confused and uncertain – a shell of the No. 1 high school QB he once was.
After gifting Alabama 21 points last week, the A&M offense continued to turn the ball over, struggling to score three points against the Rebels. The Aggies still have their annual defensive smackdown from LSU coming plus a tight game with Mississippi State, which appears to be finding its footing after a rough start.
Only beating Arkansas and Auburn won't make for a great season. At what point do Sumlin's Johnny Manziel credit points start to expire with alums?
3. Missouri's offense
Not that long ago, Mizzou used to have a spread attack that was on par with OU or Texas Tech. Apparently, those days are over.
Mizzou just lost to Vanderbilt, 10-3. Yes, Vandy, which had not won an SEC game in two years.
The Mizzou offense has gone 198 minutes since it scored a touchdown, or 13 quarters. After winning the SEC East last year, the Tigers might be the worst team in the SEC.
4. Texas Tech's run defense
Oklahoma ran at will on Texas Tech to the tune of 405 yards, scoring 63 points in the process. The OU offensive line featuring three newcomers smacked around the Tech front seven all game. As a Sooner fan, I’d love to believe OU's struggling offensive line of 2015 has morphed into the Sooner OL of 2008. It just doesn't happen.
Coach Bro is going to have to figure out how to field a defense or it will end up costing him his job.
5. Florida State's field goal unit
At some point, coaches are going to realize that going to overtime or trying a Hail Mary are better solutions than trying a really long field goal. Maybe teams are going to have to assign some athletic guys to the FG team.
The Dumpster Fire element of Florida State's undoing was the way the Seminoles stood around before realizing that Georgia Tech's Lance Austin was actually returning the ball. Topping it off was the helicopter-like spin move by FSU kicker Robert Aguayo, who flailed at the returner right before he scored.
Kick Six, Part 2.