DUMPSTER FIRES OF THE WEEK: PORK TENDERLOIN

blatanthomerism

As promised, even though Kansas lost 55-23 to Memphis, you will not see the Jayhawks on this list.

Dumpster Fires of the Week: Week 2

1. Arkansas

The greatest conference in the history of football lost a home game to a MAC opponent. That’s the job of Big Ten teams like Indiana and Purdue.

Then again, the Razorbacks did hire a coach from Wisconsin.

A crushing loss to tarnish the image that the SEC is unbeatable in all things football. (A Dumpster Fire honorable mention to Auburn for going to overtime to beat Jacksonville State.)

2. Maryland

Maryland clearly established its middle-of-the-road status in the Big Ten by getting blown out at home by a MAC team.

Bowling Green might be a very good Group of 5 team. Still, when you give up 700 yards of offense and 48 points to a MAC squad, you end up on the Dumpster Fire list.

3. Rutgers

Another middle-of-the-road Big Ten team. The main reason for the Dumpster Fire award is that the Scarlet Knights lost at home to one of last week’s recipients, the Pirate Ship Wazzu. Although Washington State couldn’t score more than 17 points last week against Portland State, the Cougars put up 37 points and nearly 500 yards against the Scarlet Knights.

I wonder if Mike Leach can plunder a toxic waste swamp?

4. South Carolina

South Carolina should be 0-2. Only terrible game management by UNC last week saved the Gamecocks. This week, South Carolina found a way to lose at home against Kentucky, which had not won on the road in 22 games (or six seasons, basically).

South Carolina could easily be facing a 6-6ish season with games left against Clemson, Tennessee, Georgia, LSU and Texas A&M left. Steve Spurrier’s looking old and frustrated on the sidelines. This might be his last season in Columbia. It’s not like he’s playing a bunch of super talented freshmen and sophomores.

There does not appear to be a bright future in store for the Gamecocks.

5. ESPN College Football Final

College football fans everywhere were excited to hear that the devious duo of Mark May and Lou “Sylvester the Cat” Holtz were being put out to pasture. Sadly, we were losing excellent host Rece Davis to GameDay, too, but surely ESPN couldn’t screw up a highlight show.

Yet, somehow ESPN made it worse. Before we were stuck with an absurd clown show, but now it’s turned in some kind of accounting seminar.

It’s awful. Danny Kanell is terrible in general. Joey Galloway seems to think that we expect him to be some kind of uber Big Ten homer. Poor Joe Tessitore has zero chemistry with either one.

-Atlantasooner

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