Bob Stoops with another highlight-creating gaffe. Les Miles doing less than ever before with more. Alabama’s great, but the rest of the SEC?
These and more in the first edition of Dumpster Fires of the Week for 2016.
Dumpster Fires of the Week: Week One
1. SEC dominance?
College football fans, get ready to see Alabama in the playoffs again because most of the SEC looks like crap after opening week.
*Mississippi State lost South Alabama, indicating just how good of a player Dak Prescott was, I guess.
*Kentucky lost to Southern Miss. (That’s Directional Schools 2, SEC 0.)
*Tennessee needed a Josh Dobbs fumble to win in overtime while looking like Damp Ass for four quarters against Appalachian State.
*South Carolina beat fellow SEC cellar dweller Vandy. (I’m starting to understand why Florida fans call Coach Boom the Offense De-Whisperer.
*Arkansas nearly lost to Louisiana Tech.
*Auburn's John Blake-style quarterback rotation gamely kept the Tigers within six points of Clemson.
*LSU... Well, we will get to them in a moment.
*Ole Miss played a great half versus Florida State before turnovers and a young offensive line caught up with them.
2. Kick Six, Sooner style.
It’s not likely to be shown as often as that damn Statue of Liberty play by Boise State, but OU fans should prepare to see college football's latest “Kick Six” all season long.
Terrible secondary play, a puzzling performance by Baker Mayfield and enough tactical coaching gaffes to leave Sooner fans perplexed. UH's touchdown return off a field goal attempt capped an awful effort by OU in Houston.
The last two times OU lost its season opener under Bob Stoops, the team lost at least five games, including a loss to Texas both years. Lots of reason on paper why this season is not 2005 or 2009, but the omens are bad.
3. Revenge of the cupcakes.
You pay some directional school $300K to show up and get beat. Baylor has this down to a science. Oklahoma State recently has been a master at scheduling down.
However, on Saturday, every Power 5 conference saw one member lose a body bag game:
- Northwestern fell to Western Michigan;
- Iowa State to lost Northern Iowa
- Mississippi St. couldn't hang on against South Alabama;
- Richmond bombed Virginia in Charlottesville to start the Bronco Mendenhall era;
- Eastern Washington sunk Washington State's Pirate Ship.
4. Les, more or less.
It's just game one, but the Less Miles (trademark pending) offense might already have made LSU's head honcho a dead man coaching. An LSU squad loaded with NFL talent on both sides of the ball managed to lose to a game Wisconsin team at Lambeau Field. That was even after Wisconsin donated 14 points in 51 seconds to the Tigers via two turnovers. Without the Wisconsin mistakes, LSU might have been shutout.
LSU looked nothing like a team that can beat 'Bama, let alone stay within 30 points of the Crimson Tide. A 9-3 record with another beat down by Nick Saban probably means Les Miles is done with the Tigers.
Of course, another scenario is more horrifying for non-Tiger fans: Miles rallies and somehow LSU beats 'Bama in Baton Rouge. With two one-loss SEC teams and carnage in the rest of college football, the playoff committee drafts LSU and 'Bama.
5. Two Irish QB heads are not better than one.
Texas deserves credit for making its two-QB system work against Notre Dame. But what was Brian Kelly thinking subbing in Malik Zaire for play-making QB DeShone Kizer?
Kizer gave the ND offense a QB running game while stretching the field. Zaire showed no signs of executing that well in the passing game.
With his unnecessary QB juggling, Kelly probably cost himself four possessions in a game that ended up in OT. In addition, his play calling after taking the lead at 35-31 in the second half and after tying the game at 37-37 was inexplicably conservative. Kelly played not to win, and his team lost in OT when ND's tired D just couldn’t tackle Tyrone Swoopes.